Woman on the verge. Ph. Steven Klein

The Power Of Hate

Fashion, Life choices, Love, Uncategorized

Of late I’ve been experiencing the same scenario with a variety of close acquaintances in a strange game of emotional Déjà vu. As you grow older its only natural that you and people in your inner circle will do experience and face the common struggles associated with those in their mid to late twenties. In this instance, the most powerful common component seems to be hate, so here’s how you deal with it.


Janis Ancens and Federico Cola for The Room Magazine | Photographed by Emilio Tini.

Hate; is an intense dislike for someone or something. And while we all casually sling that word around like a Louis Vuitton satchel, to express our general dislike of everything from particular foods to political figures it is a stronger emotion than many of us truly comprehend. To hate someone, is to actively feel repulsed by their presence or more importantly to not want their lives to be fulfilling or rewarding in the same way that ours might be. And to have garnered that kind of instinctual hatred from you, this person would have had to either committed a crime similar to something out of The Godfather or physically tried hurting you. Now, keep in mind while those are extreme case scenarios, they too do not merit your hate.

Hate fuels you to achieve things with a rush of adrenaline, but many a time it also leaves your Achilles heel exposed. It often blinds you on how to deal with the matter at hand with practicality and instead offers something that appears to be more gratifying, however ultimately lends very little to your growth as a human being.

So, how do you deal with hate?

Firstly, train yourself to never let that be your instant go-to word for something/someone you quite plainly just dislike. Ever heard the mantra ‘speak it into existence’? When you put this energy out there, it manifests in your system creating problems rather than helping to achieve goals.

Hateful Relationships

Magazine: Interview Issue: October 2010 Photographers: Mert Piggott & Marcus Alas Models: Naomi Campbell, Alex Kovas

Be the bigger person. As easy as it may be (and temporarily satisfying) to celebrate the demise or downfall of someone who has wronged you. Remember to acknowledge that you only wish to live your best life and that does not include waiting around and wishing for the worst on someone else. This kind of attitude almost always only brings clouded judgement, dramatic falling out’s with friends and an overall sense of self doubt. Instead, you are allowed to acknowledge that karma works in the best ways, or quite simply adopt the easier mantra which is ‘things are never too good or too bad for too long’. Thus detaching yourself from any emotional connection you may had to this negative force in your life.

Fight Hate

Supermodels Demonstrate Their Flexibility In ‘W’ Wily Vanderperre – March 2011

Acceptance. Some people will cheat you, hurt you and leave you when something better comes along. That is just a common truth. And while people are not inherently good or evil, you would be surprised at how close some of them get to that classification. So, what do you do? Accept that these people have harmed you, except that they hurt and used you and abused your trust. Then let the initial anger of that realization flood over you, followed by the unavoidable moodiness until gradually sooner rather than later, you do not wish any harm on said person. Because a life time spent wishing the worst on someone else, will never bring you the kind of happiness or closure you need. With acceptance, you learn to value yourself and appreciate the type of person you are to all those around you. And sets the benchmark for all your future relationships.( romantic or otherwise )

CR Fashion by Dmitri Ruwan

CR Fashion Flowers For Fernando FTAPE Fashion Directory

In the end, none of it is easy. But nothing in this life worth anything ever truly is. And yes, sometimes I think ‘God, I hate this place!’ or ‘I hate this weather’, but overtime I’ve learned to hone my emotions when it comes to people. Because some people deserve a second chance while others don’t deserve you at all. But it is up to you to make that distinction without the toxicity of hate clouidng your judgement.



Times Up- Stop Abuse

Fashion, Life choices, Uncategorized

Let’s take a moment out of our day to acknowledge the systematic pattern of abuse that continues to plague so many men and women out there. Whether it is due to sexual orientation, physical characteristics or religious beliefs there is no justification for any kind of abuse.

Dmitri Ruwan Say No To Abuse

For those of you that haven’t been on social media lately, people across the globe including victims of abuse proudly wore black in support of an era where speaking up against our experiences are encouraged and will hopefully make for a better tomorrow. 

With the majority of women at the recent Golden Globes highlighting the need for equal pay between men and women, (E-News’ male reporters still get paid substantially more than its female representatives) and speaking out again sexual predators who thrive under the glitzy gauze of Hollywood’s elite, there is no time better than the present to take matters into your own hands, and recognize that you are the master of your own life.

As we witness hundreds of men and women attesting to abuse at the hands of renowned photographers, casting agents directors,etc. It has opened up a wound some of us would rather forget. But forgetting is accepting defeat, your fight is what will keep you sane. As Oprah said, ‘there time is UP’! The hold that these men had over you and your life are over, the people who looked the other way are #irrelevant and the people who tried to convince you that you ‘wanted it’ or were in some way asking for it or are in anyway responsible, are as bad as these predators themselves. I said it once, and I’ll say it again, nothing justifies any form of abuse.

The women and men of the past who suffered at the hands of these monstrosities of humanity, had very few options at their fingertips and were for the most part truly alone in their fight. But as we move into 2018, do not let what happened in your past impact your future, remember that there is no such thing as a one-time sexual predator, these men go on to derail and destroy the lives of countless others, and if we do not speak out as so many men and women are now doing, then we are just as much to blame.

In closing, I would like to commend the men and women whom I have encountered in my life that are brilliantly talented, supremely intelligent and living their best life, in spite of the atrocities that were committed against them. This post is for all of you.

You are in control of your own fate, destiny, life, call it what you will – but never forget it. 


Powered by women, TIME’S UP addresses the systemic inequality and injustice in the workplace that have kept underrepresented groups from reaching their full potential. We partner with leading advocates for equality and safety to improve laws, employment agreements, and corporate policies; help change the face of corporate boardrooms and the C-suite; and enable more women and men to access our legal system to hold wrongdoers accountable. To learn more click here. 

Wearing Women’s Clothes

Fashion, Fashion Business, Life choices, Love, Style, Uncategorized

So, gender neutrality has been a hot-topic of late, especially within the fashion community, since our clothing is strictly segregated based on our physically assigned gender roles. But, fashion shouldn’t be a crutch, if anything it is there to help us fully express ourselves. Watch the full Youtube video here.


As mentioned earlier on this blog, I think it is crucial for us to accept that what we have been taught about gender, is based on the limited understanding of the complexities of human beings, at the time gender-based rules were formulated i.e not acknowledging the very real existence of intersex, transgender and gender-fluid and gender-less people.

It is in fact the perfect opportunity to address the issue with a little video, on how we as people can enjoy fashion regardless of gender/sexual orientation, while borrowing some great clothes from the girls. So, without further ado, here’s how to style some sick women’s pieces into your look. Hit me up on Instagram or comment down below and let me know which look is your favourite. #1 , #2, #3 or #4.

Love you guys, and let’s stop limiting ourselves.

Brands: Valentino, Gucci, Just Cavalli, Zara, H&M , New Look, Forever21, Mango and Adidas.

The Power of Music Therapy

fantasy, Fashion, Life choices, Style, Uncategorized

Before you begin reading this article, it is not about finding a solution to your insomnia, now that that’s out of the way today, we’re going to be talking about empowering your senses while you sleep, through the power of music. Don’t believe it? Read on..


(All images with the exception of the one above credited to Tim Walker) As most of you that follow me on social media know it’s been quite a trying time between building my fashion company, Avastave and look for a full-time job, and even if your sister-friend(me) doesn’t show it, it is often draining, demotivating and downright depressing.

Tim Walker for VOGUE Italia

When you go from having a full time job to having to peace-out at home for three months, it can get quite tiresome-fast. But, as with my earlier post on licenses I will stress that not having a job, doesn’t define you, especially if you’re working towards it and have goals, these goals are for you and you alone, they do not need to be relayed on to friends, family or your followers. Somethings should be private. But all of the #caucasianAnxiety caused by these changes in my life have left me feeling physocologically and emotionally drained which is where healing music comes in.

Tim Walker for W Magazine

According to Physcologytoday, music not only helps to reduce heart rates, blood pressure and cortisol levels but also aids the social functioning of people with schizophrenia. Pair that with music that has a positive message which is used in music therapy, and you get reduced anxiety, depression and even chronic pain. Typically, I wouldn’t read into it too much but when I happened to fall asleep listening to a composition by YellowBrickCinema – Relaxing Music on Youtube, before bed one day, I truly understood its impact. After weeks of feeling like my body was weighed down, that particular morning I got out of bed feeling fresh, rejuvenated and optimistic. No joke, it was like a new day with new possibilities and every door is open to you, now I’m not going to fib and tell you that those feelings of negativity weren’t somewhere in the back of my mind but I did not wake up thinking about them, they were more a part of life as opposed to ‘my life’.

Tim Walker

In the following few days I alternated between the channel above and Relax Music Channels’ ‘Music To Heal Female Energy’ and woke each time to find myself feeling calmer, more positive and content with the efforts I’m putting into make things work in my life. In fact, I’m listening to it right now and it’s already made me feel waves better than I did this morning! If you don’t believe me, give it a try because this three hour track can mean the difference between you and some severe bouts of depression.

High Fashion Halloween

Fashion, formal, Life choices, Style, Uncategorized

For us ordinary fashion folk Halloween is the equivalent of the Met Gala, meaning anything and everything goes regardless of gender. Which is why today on Life&OtherStories I thought it important to feature a few images that provide the ultimate inspiration for ideas that combine both fantasy and function. Most people think its about gory makeup and disjointed body parts but the truth is you can still look bomb as hell in something you probably already have in your wardrobe, so without further ado lets get started.

Balenciaga cloak

It might look pretty simple but imagine this head to toe white Balenciaga cloak with Dr.Martnes and a old kitchen knife?

Fur Vintage

Make a statement on your opinion of real fur and purchase a discount version on Ebay, dab the edges in red paint and you’ll truly show up those fur wearing monsters!


Tim Walker for Another Man Gucci

 I mean, forget crypt keepers of yesteryear, the new age guardians of the underworld wear Gucci ponchos and have scalps studded in half pearls. You can get the exact look with a little imagination and a trip to the haberdashery. Hot glue can go a long way!
Vogue Italy

I’m sure most of you are aware of this iconic shoot from VOGUE ITALIA that focused on a culture obsessed with plastic surgery. What a fantastic idea, imagine a body-con dress and your face tightened up in band-aid with super plump lips. J’ADORE!

VOGUE NIPPON 2014 Alexander McQueen

A McQueen moment is an absolute necessity! Give the girls mermaid fantasy by hunting through sales racks for sequined separates then stitching them up into a kimono-sleeve coat which you can belt, paired with sequinned lids and sequinned hair you’ll be coming for the light!

Formal Attire

Black Tie, Fashion, Fashion Business, formal, Life choices, Style, Twenties, Uncategorized

We’re all familiar with the term ‘classic’, i.e a classic suit, classic style, etc. But, what happens when the need to please society interferes with our ability to pioneer our own style?


(Image: Alexander McQueen) I’m a firm believer in dressing for the occasion, but I am just as keen on dressing for myself. Let me explain, a black-tie occasion is no place for jeans or tank tops, it is to be met with a certain level of class and dignity. However, in recent times all previous notions of what defines class has been called to question, leaving us with a multitude of confused attendees to said events. I think any dress code should be respected and much like wearing shorts and flip-flops to bars or brunches, I’d say opposing this is not only a sign of disrespect but a blatant disregard to the tradition of fine dressing. There’s a fine art in honoring dress codes while standing out of the crowd, and here’s how you do it.

Tom Ford2

(Image: Tom Ford) A black-tie affair to me simply means a suit and tie paired with a great pair of shoes. And on receiving news that a rather exciting family wedding will be taking place this October, I walked into my closet and acknowledged ( to feign surprise would be an outright lie) the lack of suits. You see, to me suits always signaled the triumph of convention, and conventional thinking was always associated with the anti-lgbt movement.. ‘a man must dress like a man’ and so on and so forth. Yes, I own informal jackets but that is about it. As I have always stated that sexual orientation shouldn’t play a part in the way we dress, I admit that my initial thought process was a bit hypocritical, though whether I am convinced on my own stance at this point is yet to be determined. The point remains that suits today are not what they were ten or fifteen years ago. In fact today we have the embellished jacquards of McQueen and the slick velveteen’s of Tom Ford and with the removal of any specific laws of dress we are free to choose any of them for any given occasion. The art however is directly linked with your understanding of ‘black tie’ and any other dress code, ‘formal’ for example will always mean good trousers, covered shoes and no T-shirts, yes we occasionally see that one person who appears to have missed the memo but they do carry it off and so can you.

Tom Ford

(Image Tom Ford) You see, working within the context of a black tie theme gives you plenty of room. No one said you have to look all masc-for-masc in your graduation suit or even stuffy in a sad conventional ( I shuddered again) suit + tie combo. Log onto Pinterest or Vogue.com and you’ll see that sleek evening jackets appear in embellished variations, while exaggerated bow-ties have made a significant come back and in my opinion have made ties seem like the joke by example. There’s also a prism of colour to choose from, why do black when lilac silk emphasizes your toned physique so much better? In fashion as in life, the best thing to do when faced with an obstacle is to take a step back and observe it, in this case staying true to yourself while dressing within a formal dress code might be your Rubix cube but observing that it does not, by any means enforce your choice of suit style, accessories or for that matter even colour is  your solution. So, the next time you’re invited to a special black tie affair, have some fun with colour, choose trousers that have a satin stripe down the side paired with pink Gucci loafers and a Saint Laurent tuxedo blazer or go all-out in a head-to-toe in block colour. There’s always a way to stay true to yourself but it often requires a little compromise. So, am I team suits? As of today, I’m fairly excited for my custom Avastave version, that’s for sure.

Teen Movies

Fashion, Fashion Business, Life choices, Style, Twenties, Uncategorized

Do you have a copy of Mean Girls saved on a hard drive somewhere that you watch at least every six months? Do you inadvertently choose that feel-good movie of teenage angst over that documentary on Sea Gulls that you know would probably make for better conversation? Well, if you do then you are an eternal optimist, and here’s why.

Handsome Devil Movie


(Image Handsome Devil) The subject of most teen movies is often about overcoming hurdles whether it be physical or emotional and often the lead character and friends comes out the other side, a little scathed but the better for it. If you pay close attention, by revisiting these teen movies and their various scenarios you learn something about yourself. You begin to notice how as you grow older you start to roll your eyes when the lead quarterback asks out the nerdy girl, friends are loyal to a fault and you even start to look at your phone when you know the movies nearing a happy ending. Am I wrong?

Most of us have become so averse to the thought of things simply working out that watching it on screen often makes us question the authenticity of the film itself. Now I’m not saying that every teen movie deserves an award or that every one of the scenarios isn’t cringe worthy, but if you’re like me you know why you watch them. They help you imagine a childhood you didn’t have. Schooling in the Middle East followed by high school and university in the region never fulfilled me. Because even though at a point I learned to be outwardly proud of who I am, I never had that it-moment, that teen movie moment where the one person that I liked turned around and said ‘Hey, it’s tough but I love you too.

Mean Girls Movie

(Image Mean Girls) That’s a pattern that’s followed through into my late twenties, I rarely fall but when I do it’s often for the ones that don’t know themselves. Some teen movies still give me that sense of elation that you felt when you saw your crush walk through the door or that moment when you realize being who you are is okay. These movies also serve to diminish our growing sense of doubt and cynicism with their positivity. How many people do you meet today that tell you they still believe in true love? As most of you know a few months back I released #TheLoveProject for my brand Avastave, which showcased people from various walks of life talking about what love means to them which was a learning experience for me. No matter how cynical you are it pays to be aware that love, even in the smallest form can change your very core. Now, when I say love I don’t mean that being single or alone is negative, in fact you could love various other things just as much as you love your partner but, you have to love. Because, love keeps you alive in a time when the world is shrouded in so much fear and doubt.

Wild Child with Emma Roberts

(Image Wild Child) So, if you’re broke at the moment stay in this weekend, pop in a good old teen movie, have a cry, multiple sighs and a lot of laughs and remember to be that kid who believed in love, because that is the person you were before the world forced you to change.